Kolkata mini burst

Kolkata street walk, drinking chai in use and throw clay 'matkis' - I don't understand why they would throw them away when they are perfectly reusable (at least a few more times) But then again there is a minuscule moment of joy as the baked clay hits the ground & breaks to pieces with that sharp yet chalky sound. Ate chow mien a few times already, remembered how some vague politician type diagnosed it as the cause of 'rape'. The streets are primped with speakers spewing old, billowy amaro bongali sounds. Reminiscent of old 'art' films. It seems crowded here with a warm and naive people, perhaps it is my mistaken optimism speaking.

I like the crowded soundscape filled with the buttery pace of spoken bengali in all its expressive splendor. Found out about 'international' roaming charges today, in preparation for my Nepal trip. Going to be on a train to Silliguri, West Bengal, tonight and on a bus to Kathmandu tomorrow night. My friend might be busy the coming week with work, I will absolutely have to go exploring with my solitary self.  

Thackeray dies.

Bombay was thick with the air of sinuous mourning and this nostalgic feeling of lurking catastrophe. I bid goodbye to its rarely empty streets under the shadowy dawn sky. I had to wrench myself away from a dream that leaves me enchanted, dreamt by a secret love for the city.

My journey forward is the agenda for the month. I am now in Kolkata, at a friends quaint place. The cloudy romance is receding but I grapple with it, pulling myself closer, pushing it away. It all seems beautiful.

Can hardly imagine being sad again.

(18th November 2012)

Mumbai

Now I remember how a city can be alienating. Possibly even be driven by alienation. It has a wonderful air though, this place. It has made its absence conspicuous.

Brijnandini (she has kindly accommodated me in her sweet home in Juhu) suggested that I start writing about the characters of my 'punk girl' script. That is a brilliant idea to move forward, since all I've been doing is mentally collecting peculiar character traits from different people I meet.

I'm feeling a curious inertia, its force almost rendering the coming days into a long, arduous trip, perhaps joyfully inward.

But I must invigorate my days. Learn how to fill it to the brim. Unhinge myself from the bored laze that is so frighteningly common on the freedom boat.

- 10th November 2012

Shedding inertia

The kitten arrives a week before scheduled departure. The tiny, shrill creature dripping with naivete, made my sojourn seem more real, as if by vaguely defining for me the semblance of a home, it made the journey meaningful.

I am going to mumbai, which is essentially where home was-where I grew up. mumbai has been absent from my life for the last 3 years. I'm terribly excited to greet its sweaty, grimy, smoke kissed face, sparkling with the brilliance of possibility.

I'm in the train, it is paused under a smashing star studded sky. I can smell the earth, it is wet & full of living roots, leaves and other friendly creepy crawlies.

I look forward to return home, a richer person.

- 7th November 2012

its August, 2012. I am now mid way between a regular job and that desolate place where philosophers try to amalgamate their thoughts. A lot has happened. Lots of movement. The philosopher has moved out of the cave of dead intellectuals and lives under the bright sky, slightly more open to flying, primarily because it allows you to survey the land, analyze and investigate. 

This in turn will create work that will rain down on the landscape (rather than just exist as a pretty bowlful of decay somewhere within the confines of a niche cave, full of dead intellectuals) 

so what has been stewing in my head?

punk rock, punk aesthetic, punk behavior, gender equality, ridiculous indian society's attitude towards women and men too actually.

snippets of the idea: gutsy women out at night going wild in the city. radical women bordering on sociopathic tendencies. a purposeful extremism to provoke. 

"What we have in common is impudence, politically loaded lyrics, the importance of feminist discourse and a non-standard female image" - Pussy Riot, Russian feminist punk-rock collective that stages politically provocative impromptu performances in Moscow on Russia's current political life.

But in the land of 'saas bhi kabhi bahu thi', my path is treacherous. 

Ideally i would want to unearth the subtle ways in which patriarchy is reinforced in our lives and how we ourselves are party to our own demotion on the gender scale (if at all there is even one) 
Once unearthed, that is what these women will set out to achieve in my film - destruction as a metaphor for revolution in our perceptions. bombarding the senses with the grotesque to enable real perception. the narrative has to be epic drama for it to take effect. 

I have a lot of work to do!

Inspirations for the dead intellectual

Curiously, experimental film seems to stretch time, elongating the experience through its multi-faceted approach to stimulation.


--------

Withholding oneself from the joyous secure lifestyle of having a regular job, to follow your passions (especially when it is as non commercial as experimental film making, can take a toll on the philosopher. He/she is then in danger of slipping into treacherous pits containing dead intellectuals. Philosophers react funnily to danger like that - they look for inspirations, it is a meta-cognitive approach to circumvent death.

As I am the intellectual in danger of an already plausible death, I am going to make a film titled the 'Inspirations of the dead intellectual'

I make Art.

The creation of art is a complex process of careful gathering and synthesis of influences, sources, experiences and knowledge.

KNOWLEDGE DESIRE IMPLEMENTATION = BRILLIANCE & EVOLUTION

Babbling into the void is interesting in so far as it creates works of art. – Anne Carson